Daily Prompt: “The Bizarro World”

After reading today’s daily prompt, I’ve decided it would be fun to create a profile of the person I would be today, had all of my childhood dreams come true: 

I am the singer/songwriter in a pop-punk band. Put a guitar in the hands of the love Child of Neil Diamond and Paramore, and the sound produced would come close. It may seem like an odd mix, but it has struck a chord with the general populous, and our third album has just broken a record as the most widely purchased in history.

Our stadium tour has to be put on hold though, because I have just discovered a new ruin in South America, close to Macchu Pichu, but far more spectacular, and filled with all sorts of treasure and magical artifacts. It took several weeks of traipsing through the Amazon Indiana Jones style accompanied only by a snobby proboscis monkey and a local guide (who at the end of our trip grudging admitted “you know, you’re ok.”). Last year we were battling Egyptian Mummies in Cairo, and next month we plan to do some treasure-hunting in India.  Being an adventurer-explorer who is fluent in six different languages can be trying, but luckily I save money on airfare because I own and pilot my own airplane. Not a jet, mind you, but a small yet reliable pond-jumper. 

Apart from the record sales, I fund my adventuring by playing Harp for quirky yet world-renowned Orchestras. This is strictly on a guest-star basis, and I turn a lot of generous offers.

You’d think my schedule would be very full, but I still manage to pump out a new book every few months or so. Adults seem to love my auto-biographical accounts of my adventures (the words “insightful” and “earth-shattering” have been thrown around several times by critics), but my fiction is loved by children and adults of all ages. 

Through all of this, I am accompanied by my lover and life-partner, who is mysterious yet supportive. Though looks don’t matter very much to me, I am told by family and friends that he is a ‘real catch.’ We don’t have any kids. Yet. I am able to support him through the sales of my books, and we never have to wake up before 8 AM if we don’t want to. 


About Haley Dziuk

Haley Dziuk writes both fiction and narrative nonfiction. Her stories and essays have appeared in "The Hoot Review" and "Nail Polish Stories." She works as a librarian for the Phoenix Public Library. When she's not writing or patrolling the stacks, she likes to sing along to her guitar, and go on mini adventures with her boyfriend.
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